Vacation Kisses
by fireflower
Summary: Donna's POV on an unlikely pattern in her life...a D/H story
1. Chapter One

Just thought I'd let everyone know that this one is written for all the D/H fans from F4F, and is written from Donna's POV :)  
  
Lake Michigan-August 1968  
  
Shortly after my family moved to Point Place in the summer of '68, we started a tradition of vacationing together for a couple weeks every couple years or so with the Formans, just to get away. The initial reason was so our two families could get to know each other better, but we soon learned to treasure these vacations when they came along. Eric always ended up taking Hyde along, as his mother was always looking for any excuse to ship him off for a while, so she could entertain her 'friend' of the moment. Though I didn't think of it at the time, I find it rather bothersome that a mother ship her only child off at every possible opportunity. Don't really think too much of Edna, but I digress.   
  
Anyway, I wasn't too thrilled with the vacation idea at first, but then I started thinking of all the opportunities I'd get to dunk the string bean from next door into Lake Michigan. Suddenly the whole vacation thing didn't seem so bad. Little did I know that it would also be the beginning of another tradition that has followed me every couple of years since.  
  
It all started on the third day of the vacation when Eric, Hyde, and I snuck out of the cabin to go for a swim:  
  
Eric had snuck past our parents; swim trunks, water wings and all. I was hiding behind a corner plotting how to get away with my latest dunking attempt without running into Hyde, who would assume his bodyguard duties instantly. After all, how could I resist when he looked like a half filled blow up doll with the skinny arms sticking out from under those huge water wings? Looking at it now, he actually looked kind of cute like that, but my mind was only on the next attack.  
  
Once Eric left the house and my escape seemed certain, I darted outside after him. Keeping a safe distance, I followed close behind without him noticing I was there as I put the finishing touches on my plan. Little did I know that Hyde had left the cabin hours ago, and was sitting alone behind the large oak at the water's edge.  
  
Anyway, once the string bean reached the water and dived in, I saw my perfect opportunity and took it. Started charging after him and dove into the lake with an evil look on my face as he stared at me in fear. I landed directly on his shoulders and down under the water he went. Victory was mine! I was so caught up in my little victory dance that I failed to notice when Hyde quietly slipped underwater, grabbed my feet, pulled me off of Eric's shoulders and dunked me. Needless to say, the string bean came up sputtering and muttering something about swimmer's ear as he slowly swam ashore.  
  
Meanwhile, Hyde had gotten a good grip on me and we both came to the surface together; me, kicking and screaming all the while. He just sat there and looked at me scathingly as I continued to pummel him. Finally he said, "Not a good move, Pinciotti.", in his stern, controlled way as he stares at me with what I called his 'Zen face', even then. His words didn't quite register and I continued struggling to get free, then decided to add one last particularly loud scream, "LET ME GO!" He just remained calm and held his tight grip before firmly replying, "What, so you can go after Forman again? I don't think so."   
  
I got pretty tired of struggling at that point, so I went with the last resort I'd had, and turned at looked at him pitifully. "What do I have to do to get you to let me go?", I asked, pouting. "Well, since I lost my quarter today thanks to you, I'll have to collect a forfeit of some kind." he replied with a devilish twinkle in his eye. How strange for someone so young to use a word like 'forfeit', let alone know what it means, but that's exactly what he said. Don't think I'll ever forget that, though at the time, I just got a look of confusion on my face and uttered, "Collect what?" "A forfeit." he replied, looking me right in the eyes. Was going to ask what he meant by a forfeit, but before I could say anything else he had leaned in and kissed me. As a first kiss it wasn't much, just a quick peck on the lips before he dropped me in the water and swam away; little did I know that kiss would be the first of many. 


	2. Chapter Two

Forman Basement-Summer 1970  
  
Looking back, it's hard to believe how fast the next couple years flew by. My days now gravitated between making Blow Pop eat clumps of dirt, and hanging around his basement. Hyde and I had formed a tentative friendship, which sometimes included joining forces to pull pranks on Eric and this Kelso kid, who had started following the scrawny neighbour boy into the basement about a year and a half ago. Most of the pranks were at Eric's expense, as Kelso, for some strange reason, actually seemed to enjoy the burns.  
  
Anyway, we were all hanging in the basement one summer afternoon, playing Candyland. Mrs. Forman came down in the middle of the game, looked at us, gave that little laugh of hers, and started gushing about how adorable we all were. Once she realized how embarrassed Blow Pop was becoming, she told us her real reason for coming downstairs. My parents had apparently set up another joint family vacation to take place in Chicago the following week. As expected, the first words out of Eric's mouth were to ask if Hyde could tag along, as Kelso pouted that he wasn't invited. At least until he remembered that his parents were sending him to space camp that week and a huge grin lit up his face. Mrs. Forman, of course told Eric that Hyde could indeed join us, as she seemed to love doting on him in a way his own mother never did. Hyde's face lit up at the invitation and he and Eric gave each other a high five, before he turned and glanced at me with a devilish twinkle in his eye that could only mean trouble. Trouble for Eric that is...knowing this, I smiled back in the same way...another prank was in the works...  
  
Shared Kitchenette/Chicago-Vacation Day 5  
  
Hyde and I spent all vacation coming up with the perfect prank to pull on Eric. Finally, by the fifth day of the vacation we were ready. All we had to do was wait until Eric went in to take his daily shower and all systems were go. After we had all eaten dinner and were settling in for the night, Eric wandered off. It was now or never. One of us had to go into the room, Eric shared with Hyde and steal his pajama pants. After some quick discussion, we decided it would be best for Hyde to sneak in and hide them in his suitcase while I stood guard. Before he put the plan in action though, he must've decided he needed a kiss for luck or something, because he leaned in and planted a wet one on me. Took me a few seconds to register what was going on, but when I did it brought back memories of the last time he kissed me. This infuriated me, so I broke away angrily and slapped him a good one across the face. He just stared at me in shock before a crestfallen expression crossed his face and he slinked into the room to execute our plan.   
  
About five minutes passed while he was in there...five minutes that seemed more like five years, as I was waiting for Blow Pop to discover us, ruining a good prank and five days in the process. Luckily Hyde managed to get out just as we heard the bathroom door opening...Eric was finished his shower. He came out with a towel wrapped around his waist, as Hyde and I snuck into the entryway next to Eric and Hyde's bedroom.  
  
Sure enough, within about two minutes we hear the scrawny boy freaking out over his missing pajama pants and tearing the room apart. Despite our plan to stay quiet, the two of us couldn't help but to start giggling. Our giggles turned to guffaws as Eric ran out of the room in his tighty whiteys and directly into Red, who was sitting in the living room watching a football game and drinking a beer. Red just looks up at him with the strangest expression on his face. Kind of a mix between confusion and disgust, I guess you could say. Finally he comes out with, "Put some pants on son. No one wants to see that...", and turns back to his game. Eric runs out of the room horrified as Hyde and I continue to watch from the hidden entryway, shouting with laughter and sharing a high five. Donna/Hyde-1, Eric-0... 


	3. Chapter Three

September '72-Mr. Robbins Classroom  
  
By the time all of us were eleven, the family trips seemed to fall far and few between, as my parents began to fight with increasing regularity. In an attempt to avoid the tug of war game they seemed to try playing with me, I'd been spending more and more of my time in the Forman's basement. As the years went by, the pranks on Eric had lessened considerably and more of our attention in this regard had started to falling to Kelso. Considering all the years Hyde and I pulled the pranks on Eric, he was more than happy that we'd moved on, and to help cement that fact, more often than not he joined forces with us in going after Kelso. Ironically, though Kelso to a small extent, still seemed to enjoy the burns, they never failed to get a rise out of him, which all of us found extremely hilarious.  
  
Anyway...with the summer of '72 come and gone, and school just beginning for yet another year, we were beginning to settle into the back to school blues. Sensing the malaise of the entire class, our teacher decided that a class trip to the Royal Wisconsin Museum in Madison might just be the thing we needed to settle back into the whole school thing for another year. Now, usually a trip like this would bring nothing but groans, I mean, who really wants to spend such a beautiful day in a cold smelly museum with a bunch of bones, but hey anything's better than class right? Besides, might be a good place to cause some mischief. From the look on Hyde's face, I can see he agrees with me, and I know that it wouldn't take much convincing to get Eric in on the plan. Especially if it was at Kelso's expense. Meanwhile, Kelso sat there in his desk, checking out his feathered hair and undoubtedly contemplating his future 'foxitude', as he liked to call it, completely ignorant of the fact that he was gonna be the object of yet another great burn.  
  
On the bus to Madison  
  
To try and make a long story short, the trip was relatively uneventful outside of Hyde and I bickering the entire way. Hyde and I decided we should sit together, so we can plot the museum prank on Kelso without his knowledge. Figured we'd let Eric in on the plan after we got there and he could escape Kelso, who he ended up sitting with across the aisle. Felt kinda bad for him really, having to listen to Kelso's latest adventures with a pack of dogs on the way to school that day. How that kid manages to coast by, I doubt I'll ever know. Well, turned out our seating arrangement wasn't such a good idea, since what Hyde thought would be a good prank to pull, seemed to be taking things a little further than a simple prank should be taken...at least in my opinion. I mean, what good could come of planting some gift shop merchandise on Kelshmoe? Sure, it'd be kinda funny to have him get caught and be hauled away, but it would cause more trouble than anything else, and could end up blowing up in all our faces. Hyde however, disagreed. He just saw the mental image of Kelso getting carted off and searched by museum security hilarious. We were at an impasse, and seeing as neither of us was willing to budge an inch, the battle commenced. A battle that lasted the entire first half of the day, but I'm getting ahead of myself...  
  
Royal Wisconsin Museum/Madison  
  
Hyde and I got so involved in our argument that we were the last off the bus, still bickering at each other all the while. Kelso and Eric were already long gone into the museum. They'd apparently seen us fighting, and decided to leave us alone to work it out ourselves. We followed the rest of the class into the museum and directly to the dinosaur exhibit. Mr. Robbins was blabbing on about the feeding habits of some dinosaur, whose skeleton we were standing in front of. I missed most of the discussion though as Hyde and I continued to squabble with other, though we did it quietly so we wouldn't get caught and reprimanded in front of the class, cause nothing was more embarrassing than that. Finally though, I'd had it and decided to just ignore him. To that end, I turned to listen to Robbins endless rambling about the dinosaur. It took less than five minutes for me to lose interest in that, so I looked Eric and Kelso's direction to see what they were up to. As usual, Kelso was rambling on about one of his two favourite subjects...Jackie.   
  
Jackie Burkhart, the annoying, loud, bossy lil midget that had started following Kelso into the basement about six months ago. She hasn't left since. If nothing else, I was glad we were on this trip from hell today, just to get away from her for a while. Being a year younger than us, she wasn't in this class...good thing too, otherwise I'd have to see her spending the day hanging off of Kelso like usual. I swear, the girl must've been a lamprey in a previous life of something, but I digress...  
  
Seeing Kelso mid-ramble makes me feel kinda bad for poor Eric. Stuck in the midst of a Kelso gabfest with no way to escape...better him than me, I guess. Before I could get to feeling too badly for him though, Hyde tapped me on the shoulder and signalled for me to follow him across the hall. With no other escape from Robbins incessant chatter (Geez, this guy must have no life, as he seems to know more about this dinosaur than The World Book), or the same ongoing Jackie-praise, delivered Kelso-style that Eric's being subjected to, I opt to follow him, in spite of our current disagreement.  
  
Unfortunately, within five minutes, I began to regret that very decision. He seemed more hell bent than ever to go through with the gift shop prank...especially after being irritated by the feather haired, headgear wearing moron's ramblings over Jackie, who for some reason has always annoyed him more than she has the rest of us. However, despite my own irritation with him, I still don't think that prank is the best idea. So, back into full blown squabble mode we go. Next thing we know, half an hour and countless burns later, we still haven't solved anything. At this point, we decide to call a temporary truce, figuring we should go and rejoin the rest of the class. Only problem was, when we headed back to the dinosaur exhibit where we had last seen everyone, they were gone. We were lost.  
  
This being a huge museum, we both knew it would take a while, not to mention a miracle to find them. Now, I'm sure you think we would look for someone to help us find the class or something...wrong answer. Instead we start blaming each other for causing this whole predicament in the first place, effectively ending our truce and getting us no where. We ended up spending the better part of the morning wandering the museum, and fighting over whose fault it was that we were stuck in this situation in the first place. Finally, around 10:00, I just got tired of the endless bickering and continued my search for everyone in silence. Hyde took the hint about two minutes later and decided to follow me, silently fuming the entire time.  
  
By lunch time we were both hungry and tired, and were beginning to see how pointless our squabbling really was. Our chance of pulling any prank on Kelso was long gone, and the two of us were lost in the middle of a gigantic museum. We needed to stop fighting and band together so we could figure out how to find our class, and rejoin them. As we sat and hurriedly ate our packed lunches, I couldn't help but wonder why no one had come looking for us by now. I thought either Eric or Kelso would have realized we were missing by now as well, but the only people we had come across all morning were some tourists from Michigan. No wonder Robbins brought us here...it's the off season and the museum needs to get the revenue from somewhere...  
  
Two o'clock came and we were still lost and wandering around aimlessly. I began to get a little nervous at this point, as we'd already been wandering around for around four or five hours and gotten no where closer to rejoining our class. In fact, I swear I saw the painting we just passed about two hours ago...man, we were going in circles! Hyde took one look at me, and saw that I was beginning to get upset, so he decided to distract me from my concerns for a little while. How did he accomplish that you ask? With a devilish gleam in his eye, and a couple of stolen rolls of toilet paper.  
  
He calls me over, with that look that could only mean trouble and says, "Guess what I found." I just shrug, completely clueless to what it could be when he pulls out the toilet paper from behind his back. "Just what are you planning to do with that?" I ask with a mischevious, yet skeptical look on my face. Then realizing he's started to respond, I look directly at him. "Remember that dinosaur Robbins was blabbing on about earlier?" he asks, raising his eyebrow. Immediately catching on, and realizing he must've been planning this since lunch time, we both sneak back in that direction, looking carefully to make sure no one was around. Like the rest of the museum, the area by the dinosaur skeleton was deserted, so we quietly crept up and toilet papered the hell out of it.   
  
Once both rolls were gone, we stepped back, took a quick gander at our handywork, and howled with laughter. It looked like a twenty foot long, fifteen foot high abominable snow monster. How the thing got so well covered with only two rolls of toilet paper, I'll never know.  
  
Finally collecting ourselves a few minutes later, we ran off before anyone could discover what we'd done. We ran and ran until our lungs were sore. Eventually, we collapsed against a wall gasping for breath. "Now what?" I asked, still gasping. "Hmmm..." he replied and looked at his watch. "Well, it's 3:30 now, and we were supposed to be on the bus back to the school for 3:45, so..." he added, as he looked back up at me. After spending most of the day wandering the museum, we knew our way around it like the back our hands. We headed toward the front entrance so we'd be on time to catch the bus home, and got outside at 3:45 sharp to find that everyone had already boarded the buses.   
  
They had just realized that we were missing after the class had boarded the bus, they had performed the head count, and come up two students short. Mr. Robbins had just alerted the museum staff to the situation and had sent them back inside to look for us before boarding the bus again to keep an eye on the rest of the class. What happened next is still a mystery for me to this day. Maybe it was relief from finding everyone at last, or gratitude to him for taking my mind off things for a while with the whole dinosaur stunt, but before I knew what I was doing, I had leaned in and given him a soft kiss. I could tell my actions had taken him off guard a bit, as he just sat there stunned for a few seconds before he started to kiss me back. His response knocked me to my senses instantly, and I jerked myself away, once again smacking him across the face. Honestly, looking back on it, I'm not really sure what prompted me to slap him this time...most likely I was just angry with myself for initiating the kiss in the first place, or perhaps it was due to the fact that he responded so quickly, when he had to know it was a spur of the moment thing that hadn't really registered in my mind. Regardless, as that look of shock and rejection crossed his face, and was quickly covered by his zen mask, I couldn't help but feel a pang of regret over my actions. Silently, we both turned and boarded the bus together, neither of us realizing that the pattern we had set had barely begun. 


	4. Chapter Four

It was now the summer of our thirteenth year and things were pretty much the same as they are any other summer. Kelso and Jackie were still all over each other, to the disgust of the rest of us. Eric and I started becoming closer though, and he'd started to show a real interest in me. Whether or not I reciprocated the feelings was still up for grabs though. Hyde was pretty much spending his time like he did every summer, hanging with all of us, burning Kelso and Jackie. We were getting ready to start junior high in the fall though, with the exception of Jackie, who still had a year to go.   
  
Anyway...Hyde, Eric, and I were planning to go to a summer camp together, as Edna was looking for another excuse to be rid of Hyde for a while. Eric and I agreed to go and keep him company, but Kelso had to stay behind as he had an appointment at the dentist to have braces put on. Apparently he had to go through the whole head gear thing, which is inevitably gonna result in many great burns. He didn't mind though, as he claimed it would ensure his future 'man beauty' or something. Jackie also bailed on the idea, saying she refused to do anything so demeaning as to be caught sleeping in a dirty, drafty, old tent, on the cold, hard ground. Man, she really got on our nerves at times...we all wished Kelso would just get off his ass and do what he said he was gonna every week, and break up with her already.   
  
Unfortunately, only two days before we were scheduled to leave, Eric came down with a bad case of the flu, and had to bail on us. With Eric being sick, I'd considered staying behind as well. However, with Eric so ill, I couldn't really hang out at the Forman's. Besides, I didn't really want to catch the flu...not pleasant. The alternatives (staying home with my still fighting parents, while my dad sat around in his open bathrobe 'ventilating', as he liked to call it, or hanging with Jackie, hearing her ramble on about clothes, hair, makeup, or Kelso), were equally, if not more unappealing. Besides, I'd feel guilty bailing on Hyde, leaving him to go to the camp alone, despite the fact that from the first moment I met him, there was nothing he hated worse than pity.  
  
Camp Atawalkins-Day Three  
  
Finally, I'd managed to lose the boy crazy girls I'd been forced to stay in a tent with as they were in my 'age group'. They finally lost me rather, and good riddance in my opinion. All they'd done since we'd gotten here was yammer on about how cute this guy or that was, when they weren't trading beauty and fashion tips that is... I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I think they were worse than Jackie, if that's even possible; excepting the spoiled rich girl act. What I found strangest of all was the one guy most of their conversation revolved around...Hyde. They all seemed to think he was this mysterious, rebel, bad boy or something, I'd guess you could say. He really intrigued them, and they were always following him around...not hard to do really, considering their odds of being caught were so small, as he spent most of his time alone as usual. When I told them that I'd known him for years, they started pestering me with an endless line of questions, such as what he was really like, and whether or not he was a good kisser. I found this interesting as before they pretty much ignored me, not giving me the time of day as soon as they realized that I wasn't into their little games. My only response to all the questions was that we'd been friends for years, and though we HAD kissed before, it was really nothing special. And it wasn't (or so I thought at the time), especially with the interest Eric had been showing me the past couple months or so. Besides, the kisses were innocent, just a couple of kids fooling around...and the last one was never really talked about, just kinda shoved under the rug to the point where I'd nearly forgetten all about it. Once I said that though, they evidently decided I was crazy and completely ignored me. Which left me where I was then, sitting alone on the tire swing, overlooking the river.  
  
Apparently I'd gotten lost in thought for a while, as the next thing I knew, I felt someone pushing me in the swing. I turned around to see who there, only to see the very person I'd just been thinking about...Hyde. A softly uttered, "Hi," was all that came out of my mouth before I'd turned back around in the swing. He responded with a quiet, "Hi," all his own, then continued pushing the swing in silence. A few minutes passed before either of us spoke again. Eventually I broke the silence, telling him everything that had happened in the last day or so. I hadn't seen him since dinner yesterday, so I'd decided to fill him in on my latest encounter with 'the snoots', as I'd taken to calling them. Mentioned how much they'd been annoying me with their endless questions about him and our friendship, and how they'd decided to ignore me when they couldn't get the answers they wanted out of me. Somewhere along the way, I started babbling and getting flustered with the whole conversation, and had turned myself around, looking straight at him. This didn't escape his notice, but he just looked at me silently and raised his eyebrow in that annoying way that says he knows there's more to the story than I'm letting on.   
  
Suddenly I'd stopped talking as well, and just stared at him for a few seconds. Then, before I knew what was happening he'd brought his hands to my cheeks, closed his eyes and leaned in for a soft kiss. I responded slightly, telling myself that I was just solving my curiosity about what it had been like to kiss him all those years ago. At first, the kiss was like the past few; chaste, comforting, familiar, all the feelings I'd denied previously, but accepted and understood now. 'Maybe those girls weren't so far off in their assumptions about him after all...' I thought, then opened my eyes to look at him; see what he's thinking, just as an oddly mischievious look crossed his face. Not knowing exactly what placed it there, I braced myself for the unexpected...I mean with Hyde, you just never know... Anyway...seconds later, he tongue crept out and flashed across my lips, seeking to deepen the kiss. Despite my attempts to prepare myself, I was caught off guard and unprepared for this sort of thing...thus, I ended up pulling away in shock, and once again, slapping him across the face before I knew what hit me. The last time I saw him that day was with his hand cupping his cheek, and an unrepentant look on his face.  
  
Camp Atawalkins-Day Four  
  
One thing I hadn't counted on the previous day was company. Apparently a few of 'the snoots' from my cabin had taken it upon themselves to follow me, intending to creep out when I least expected it. What they didn't count on was a full on view of my kiss with Hyde. Rather than it prompting the endless questioning I expected, it made them start harassing me. Not to mention talking amongst themselves about how he would want to kiss someone like me when they were around. Seeing this, and wanting them to leave me alone, Hyde decide to open up a kissing contest booth for all the girls in the camp to participate in. They'd all get to kiss him, and at the end he'd declare a winner. I'd stood off to the side looking at the 'long' line of girls waiting for a kiss from Hyde, feeling an unfamiliar knot in my stomach, caused by an emotion I refused to name, let alone acknowledge. After all the girls had gotten their kiss, and everyone dispersed (No winner had been declared, he'd promised to pronounce a winner later...something he'd never openly done), he'd walked directly up to me as he couldn't have missed me eyeing him all day. Once he'd reached me, he leaned over and quietly whispered in my ear, "You were best...", which brought an uncommon blush to my cheeks, and a weak smile to my face. He smiled back, then turned and walked away.   
  
Later  
  
By the time we got back home, everything was back to normal with us, and this kiss, following the direction of the last few was never mentioned again until many years later; the pattern, however, was far from over. 


	5. Chapter Five

Summer 1974-A Madison Amusement Park  
  
I honestly can't remember who's suggestion it was to go to that cheezy Madison amusement park, though something tells me Jackie had a hand in the whole thing. She seems to have a knack to find this kinda thing and drag us all along, though it actually turned out to be quite fun. And this in spite of having to see her hang all over Kelso to make sure the feather haired idiot didn't end up walking aimlessly off, leaving us to spend the day searching for him. Frankly either of those results wouldn't have been desirable, but I'll still take a clingy Jackie to a lost Kelso anyday of the week. I mean, who knows what a runaway Kelso might get into, but that's beside the point.  
  
Anyway...we spent much of the morning just wandering around checking things out. Hyde and Kelso got involved in one of those games where you try to shoot water into a bottle, where whoever shoots the most into said bottle wins. Kelso figured he'd be able to win a stuffed animal for Jackie, but all he ended up getting was water all over his clothes when Hyde (quite predictably really) turned and hosed Kelso down with the water from his gun. Kelso was only able to respond with a pitiful "Ow! My Eye!", while the rest of us snickered. Other than that, things were pretty dull until we decided to ride the ferris wheel. Kelso and Jackie saw this as the perfect opportunity to make out, with Jackie comparing the ferris wheel to a vacation at Disney World. Eric immediately chickened out of going on the ride, muttering something about Red jumping out of rides on him when he was younger, freaking him out. We all got a good laugh out of that, and figured it was for the best anyway as the ride for was pairs anyway. Didn't wanna get stuck with the old greasy looking drunk that was occupying the only other empty seat on the ride. So the pairs were set, Jackie and Kelso, and me and Hyde. So just before the ride started we leaped into our seats and got strapped in and we were off...  
  
One thing we hadn't counted on though was reaching the very top of the ferris wheel before it came to a screeching halt. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no wuss; however grinding to a screeching halt thirty feet in the air can be rather disconcerting. Found a fear of heights I never even knew I'd had, and within seconds I started panicking. Hyde noticed this, and rather than starting in on the predicted burns, he actually made some attempts to comfort me. He started out using a soft gentle voice to tell me that everything would be fine, and that we'd be off the ride in no time. Realizing this was having little effect, he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close in yet another uncharacteristic, attempt at comfort. Neither of us counted on the position getting a little too cozy, causing the entire atmosphere of the hug to change within minutes of becoming trapped. Getting caught up in the moment, Hyde started to lean in and kissed me softly. I was content with this as it was comforting and familiar, not to mention took my mind off our current dilemma. However, before I realized what was happening, he took control of the kiss and started to deepen it. I don't know how to explain my reaction to this, even to this day...think it was due to a whole unresolved bag of emotions, along with the stress of being trapped, but I pulled away angrily and slapped him yet again. Maybe it'd just become habit for me to slap him after the kisses...easier to express my anger toward him, than face my own reaction to the kisses, but that's another story... After the slap I shouted furiously at him, "I was looking for comfort! That wasn't an excuse to start making out with me!" Hyde just looked at me with a wounded expression on his face, trying to assume a zen expression but failing. Before he could get a single word out though, the ride finally started up again.  
  
We rode the ride to the ground in silence, each of us ignoring the presence of the other outside of a few glances from Hyde toward me when he thought I wasn't looking. Finally, we got off the ride and onto firm land again...never was I happier than I was in that single moment. Might've even kissed the cement if I didn't think it would make me look like the square I knew I was...next time I think I'll stick with Eric, on solid ground. Kelso and Jackie were already off the ride, holding hands and exchanging small pecks as they waited for us to catch up with them before meeting Eric at the concession stands.  
  
The four of us walked toward the concessions, looking for Eric. We almost walked right by him when he called us over, his hands full with a cotton candy and a small teddy bear. He handed me the teddy once we reached him with a gallant sounding, "For you milady." The first words out of my mouth were, "Oh Eric! That's so sweet! You won him just for me!" as I hugged the teddy tightly. His actions had taken me a little by surprise, and I found it really sweet, even for Eric. Especially with both Kelso and Hyde around, who always seemed to be looking for a good burn. Surprisingly neither took the bait, Kelso was too busy bickering with Jackie, who was whining about why he never did that sort of thing for her, and Hyde just stood there silently, looking at the ground dejectly, as he had ever since we'd gotten off the ferris wheel. I added a quiet, "Thank you." before leaning in to hug him, as he grinned like the village idiot.  
  
At that point, I tossed a quick glance in Hyde's direction feeling an emotion that I still wasn't prepared to acknowledge, let alone examine in the light of day. Now as I look back on it, I realize it was a feeling of regret at what might have been, if only I'd given him and us, a chance. Luckily though, once again, time and circumstance proved me wrong in thinking it was over. Boy, did it ever prove me wrong...That day though, I pushed the feeling aside as we all decided we'd had enough 'fun' for one day and started heading home. 


	6. Chapter Six

Message From Fire & Spice to everyone from the T7S group at F4F: Fan Forum is down temporarily, so in the meantime we will be posting here: http://www.mediablvd.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=61 Anyone else who cares to join the group would be welcomed...thank you...:)  
  
Winter 1976/77  
  
By the time we were all seventeen, we slowly gone through a lot of changes, though we'd remained together through each and every one. In fact, our little group continued to grow with the appearance of Fez, the school's newest foreign exchange student at the beginning of the school year. Something about Hyde saving him from 'hanging' in the janitor's closet, due to a jock prank or something. He's somewhat strange and mysterious, especially since to this day I still don't know his real name or where on earth he's from, but he added some fresh air to the group for a change, but I digress...  
  
Anyway, Eric and I had grown a lot closer these past couple of years. We were as near to dating as two people could be without actually being an official couple, though I had some misgivings about the relationship that I just couldn't quite put my finger on at the time. Jackie and Kelso had stayed together suprisingly, as those two had seemed to have a real love/hate relationship going on from the very beginning. The entire gang was making bets on what they would be fighting about this week. The fights were usually instigated by Kelso, but were long forgotten by the next day. Pretty annoying and predictable if you ask me. Ironically, despite all of this, Jackie had grown on all of us in the past couple years. Kind of like a tiny benign cyst, I guess you could say. We'd never admit it to her though, or we'd never hear the end of it. Hyde, in particular, continued to act horrendously annoyed by her, though frankly I thought it was simply habit and show by that point, as it was usually worse when Eric got into one of his 'Jackie' rants as I've taken to calling them.  
  
Before we all knew it though, the holidays had come and gone and we had set into the winter blahs...at least until Jackie came by one day inviting us up to her parent's ski cabin for the weekend. We all leaped at the chance to get out of Point Place and the basement for a few days, especially once she tossed in the added bonus of it being an unsupervised trip. However, on the very day we were supposed to leave, Kelso, being the idiot that he is, decided to make out with the school slut, Pam Macy. To add insult to injury, he did it behind the gym in plain view of anyone walking by! It was sure to get back to Jackie in a matter of no time, but he was ignorantly optimistic that she'd never find out. Why we still continue hanging with this guy, I have no idea...I mean, I knew that while some of the arguments between Jackie and Kelso were bad, this took the cake. Nothing good could possibly come of this, and we all knew it. As predicted, not two minutes later, in walks Jackie furiously rambling on, asking how he could do this to her. She continued with how everyone at school were now talking about her behind her back, saying things like, "She thinks she's so great, yet she can't even keep her own man around..." and whatnot. Quite predictably, she broke up with him 'yet again' almost immediately in the midst of her continued angry ramblings. Needless to say, we were all majorly pissed at this point, and blamed Kelso for ruining what sounded like a great trip. He picked up on this immediately, and tried to use us as a way to enjoy the ski weekend before their breakup became official. Jackie wasn't buying into this though, and told him that the rest of us were still going...only without him. Oddly enough, the dumbass seemed so sure that we'd stay behind with him and forgo the trip. Wrong answer...  
  
Ski Cabin  
  
After sliding off the road and being stranded in the middle of nowhere for more than an hour, Eric finally managed to get us to the ski cabin. Not a minute too soon either, as I think I would've strangled Jackie, with the full support of the group, if I had to hear her whine about Kelso anymore. On top of that, I constantly had to fight of Hyde's passes at me whenever he thought Eric wasn't looking. This had been going on for the past few weeks, ever since we all went to that disco in Kenosha. Not sure where his sudden increased interest in me came from, as he hadn't tried anything since our last kiss at the carnival a couple years before. However, ever since Eric and I had gotten increasingly close, his advances had been becoming an everyday thing...almost seemed like he was jealous or something, but that wasn't really Hyde's style so I wasn't really sure what to think.  
  
As soon as we walked in the door, a whining Jackie gave Eric and I the master bedroom, as her and Kelso's love was supposedly dead. Eric was really excited about us having a private make out place. Though I couldn't help but be caught up in his exuberance, I also felt a twinge of regret about it after hearing Hyde's weak protest as we bolted into the bedroom and slammed the door shut for some space and solitude. I tried pushing all that aside as we both started making out on the bed, but I couldn't quite seem to get into it for some reason, and when Jackie's persistant sobs ruined the mood, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved.  
  
We came into the living room to see Hyde laying on a chair drinking a beer, and reading a magazine while Jackie was sitting on the couch crying hysterically. Eric tried to take charge of the situation, and restore a semblance of order, but the situation had already gotten WAY out of hand. Fez apparently had managed to down an entire bottle of Amaretto before running out into the snow in his underwear, while Jackie had continued to mope and cry over Kelso. With all of this newfound information, he decided to give Hyde the choice to either go outside and hunt for Fez (the look on Hyde's face at this suggestion was priceless), or to stay behind to console Jackie. His next words will be forever burned on my brain, not so much because they surprised me. His 'attentions' of late had pretty much prevented that...it was more the way he said it...so nonchalantly, almost like he didn't even fully realize what was coming out of his mouth that took me off guard. "I'll take Donna." Eric just gave him a look of suspicion before replying with, "You mean Jackie," to which Hyde, slightly flustered, 'innocently' responded, "Of course Jackie..." Eric must've been satisfied with that because he wandered off to look for Fez as Hyde went over and makes a feeble, yet somewhat ill-mannered attempt to comfort Jackie, which only ends up further upsetting her. She ended up running to the bedroom, sobbing even more hysterically than she had been since we arrived, leaving Hyde and I alone.  
  
As if enough weren't already going on, he attempts to start making the moves on me again now that everyone is gone. This was only making me increasingly angry. How insensitive of him to make Jackie even more upset, just to try and find some time to hit on me...SO not impressive... I mean, Jackie can be bossy and annoying sometimes, but she's still our friend and she didn't deserve that. Besides, until Eric and I started dating, and getting closer to starting a relationship, he had not pursued anything with me since our last kiss a couple years back. We'd dropped the whole thing, and gone back to being friends...until recently anyway...  
  
Looking back on it, I realize he was jealous, but at the time I thought it was simply a matter of winning with him. He and Eric had always been competitive, and I figured I was just the latest thing for them to fight over, and frankly it was beginning to annoy me. I'm not some trophy to be fought over dammit! Probably the worst part of the whole thing was that a certain part of me that I wasn't ready to examine, let alone acknowledge kind of liked the attention. To make matters worse, I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was missing in my relationship with Eric, though I couldn't seem to put my finger on it at the time. I had a suspicion what it might be, but I wasn't willing to even think about it, much less consider it in the bright light of day. I brushed it all off as simply jitters at starting my first major relationship, though I couldn't help but tell that Hyde was struggling with whatever it was he was feeling for me as well. This was only further confirmed by what he said next...something along the lines of not enjoying hitting on his best friend's girlfriend, but that he couldn't seem to help himself.   
  
I already had my defenses on full alert as they always seemed to be with him these days, and replied rather haughtily, "Well, you better!" Then in happened...before I even registered what happened he'd leaned in and captured my lips with his own; his hand cupping my cheek, attempting to deepen the kiss almost immediately. Taken off guard, and more into the kiss than I was willing to admit, I pulled away angrily in about all of six seconds, smacked him across the face, and stormed off to the bedroom under the guise of consoling Jackie. In reality, I'd felt more in those six seconds than during my entire time with Eric, and needed some time to compose myself and think...especially since I was neither prepared, nor ready to acknowledge that fact.   
  
By the time I came back out to the living room, it was after a teary eyed Jackie had run out to greet Kelso eagerly. He'd somehow managed to catch a ride with a very strange and possibly gay truck driver, if the hat Kelso was wearing was any indication. Eric walked in the door just in time to catch the reunion, carrying a nearly nude and unconscious Fez with him. He just dumped him on the back of the couch beside Hyde, and turned to watch Kelso and Jackie head back into the bedroom that we'd previously been occupying. Luckily this provided me with an adequate distraction, and Eric's reappearance served to strengthen my floundering confidence in our relationship...for the time being anyway. When I turned around and saw a full blown view of the nearly nude Fez, I couldn't help feeling a combination of disgust and amusement as I looked at both Eric and Hyde before sarcastically questioning, "Can't someone put his pants on?"  
  
The rest of the weekend was relatively uneventful...we skiied and had an okay time, though when Fez woke up, his hangover was not pretty. Hyde pretty much kept to himself, though he did try hitting on me occasionally...I fended off his advances for the most part by staying pretty much glued to Eric's side the entire time, and Jackie and Kelso quite predictably spent the majority of the weekend in the bedroom...don't want to even think about what they were doing in there...we constantly had to keep closing the door after them though, to the disappointment of Fez, who seemed to love getting a free peep show...  
  
After we got back, things pretty much went back to normal...every once in a while though, I couldn't help but wonder how things would've worked out between Hyde and I, had I not backed away and slapped him (yet again) at the cabin; especially since I seemed more confident than ever that nothing would ever happen between us again after this...I mean, how many times can you slap a guy before he loses interest? 


	7. Chapter Seven

Fall/Winter 78/79  
  
By the time we were all nineteen, we'd gone through a lot of twists and turns. So many in fact, that it felt like we were on a roller coaster from hell, with no way off. Eric and I became an official couple, and were together for about a year and a half before we broke it off. We'd both had different visions on how our future together should unfold, which culminated in Eric giving me a promise ring, trying to trap me into a long term commitment that I felt we were just too young for.   
  
Shortly after that messy breakup, my parents fights escalated past the point of no return. Finally unable to stand anymore, my mother just took off one morning for California, leaving Dad and I all alone. Out of feelings of desperation and loneliness, I sought comfort from the nearest available body. That body just happened to be Eric. Luckily, Eric and I sorted out our differing opinions on this, as he'd thought this meant that we were a couple once again, which just wasn't so. The only reason I knew about that was due to Hyde coming by later to clue me in, as well as to offer me some much needed support. All this was accomplished with jests made about my encounter with Eric and some playful teasing; including a remark about how Eric just seemed to be around when I needed 'comfort', while he was over in the basement watching stupid Donahue or something. Anyway...I felt a little better after his visit, though I was still confused and upset over Mom leaving...  
  
Jackie, of course saw this immediately. Not wanting a mopey friend to bring down her reputation, as well as trying to help in her own way, she set me up with Kelso's older brother, Casey. She was excited about us being 'friends in law', though I wasn't really sure why as her and Kelso's relationship continued to be as tumultuous as ever, and ended for the final time after a failed marriage proposal led Kelso helping me run off to California to see my mother. I'd needed to get away after realizing that my loneliness and neediness had clouded my mind to the point that I thought Casey had actually loved me. Just the latest of lies that I believed due to all the drama and trauma I'd been going through at the time. The whole situation finally came to a head though when Casey made a huge fool of me in front of my family and friends...everyone who really mattered to me was made witness to my shame. I'm just glad that the relationship was called to a halt at that point, in spite of the fact that I was colossally embarrassed and humiliated.  
  
To add insult to injury, I tried to get back together with Eric after my break up with Casey, and he turned me down. He said something along the lines of refusing to be second choice. Second choice to Casey? He had to be ridiculous! There wasn't even a comparison there, though I'll freely admit now that he was second choice to someone else...someone I still couldn't seem to bring myself to consider... At the time though, I had missed him and the security and steadfastness that he represented, and that I was missing in my relationship with Casey. I even believed that I was still in love with him, and it wasn't until later that I finally came to the realization that I loved him, but that I was no longer 'in love' with him. Those feelings were directed to the person that I kept refusing to consider, even in my own mind. However, that didn't stop me from thinking of him on several occasions, which I just kept blowing off into the corners of my mind...  
  
Eric's refusal of me, and of continuing our relationship was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd already gone through so much, and just couldn't take the pressure of another rejection...felt like I was being rejected everywhere I turned these days. All this left me feeling alone, unwanted, and unloved. With those feelings came the need to escape...anyhow and anywhere I could, I had to leave Point Place, at least for a while. As I was headed to the bus station to head to California, I ran into Kelso, who explained what had recently transpired between him and Jackie. Upon hearing that I was planning to go visit my mother, he realized that by going with me, he'd have the out he was looking for. The thought of getting married was freaking him out terribly, and I realized that he felt about as trapped as I was. Seeing that, when he offered to take drive me to California, I just couldn't refuse. Besides, it would save me money, and give me the comfort of having a little piece of home to take with me...even if it was Kelso.  
  
After a long, lonely summer of seeing Kelso hit on various beach trash, before settling on a dumb blonde, Jackie wannabe, named Annette, I started to yearn for the comforts and familiarity of home. Despite the sandy beaches and the parties, California just wasn't home. Besides, in the months that I was there, I saw my mother for the selfish, self absorbed woman she truly was, which was less than impressive... I missed my dad, my friends, and Eric, and was beginning to regret making this decision in the first place. Kelso, in the meantime, waved off my protests, said that I was blowing things out of proportion, and that California rocked! In reality, he was just having too much fun with his blonde beach bunny and didn't want to think about what was awaiting him back home in the name of an angry Jackie...  
  
Bearing all that in mind, when Eric finally came to California to bring me home near the end of summer, I was beyond elated to see him. I'd missed him terribly, was still entertaining the thought that I was in love with him, and found his gesture incredibly romantic and sweet. Needless to say, I leapt at the chance to go home with him and start our relationship anew. I'd been hoping that life could finally return to some sense of normalcy. My summer away felt like a time out of time, you know? Like something in the back of your mind that's there, but at the same time isn't?   
  
Not long after we all got home, Eric and I found out that Jackie and Hyde had started a summer fling after Kelso and I had run off. Of course, Kelso found out about it eventually as well, but the secret was kept from him successfully for quite a while. I always kind of wondered how their fling could've escaped Eric's notice, but after hearing that he's spent most of the summer moping over me after discovering I'd taken off, I guess I understood...at least a little... For some reason though, the Jackie/Hyde relationship bothered me more than it really should have, especially since Eric and I were back together and supposedly happy. To make matters worse, I felt bad feeling that way, as Jackie finally looked happy for a change...something I don't think I'd ever seen her truly be until then. It didn't seem right for me to be feeling that way, as Jackie had turned out to be a pretty good friend, and she really did deserve better than Kelso.  
  
Still...I couldn't seem to help being bothered by their relationship and continued to make mocking gestures regarding it. Then to take my mind off the whole thing, and the feelings I still wasn't ready to confront, I accepted Eric's marriage proposal a few weeks later. Luckily, the whole facade of an engagement was called off a few months later due to continued pressure on the part of Eric's parents...well that, and the fact that both of us admitted to each other that we just weren't ready for marriage. Felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders that day... Eric and I also decided that to escape from his parents meddling, that it was probably better for us to move out together just after graduation. Mrs. Forman wasn't too thrilled to hear about all this, but it looked like Red was more than a little relieved...he even agreed to pay Eric's college tuition, something he'd taken away from him a few weeks prior during continued arguments over our engagement.   
  
Despite my plans to move in with Eric, I was simply skirting around the fact that I couldn't help but feel there was something missing in our relationship. The feeling had just kept increasing in intensity since we'd returned from California, and as Jackie and Hyde's relationship continued to progress, and I felt guilty as hell about it, hoping it would just go away. Finally, just as I was about to hit my breaking point, something happened that while tragic, has a blessing wrapped in it as well...Red had a heart attack on the day of our graduation, brought on by hearing that Laurie and Fez had gotten married so that Fez could stay in the country. He'd been ordered to go back to his homeland after the police had caught him vandalizing the water tower a few days before, and they'd found that his VISA was about to expire. You see...despite Red's objections, Eric felt that he should stay closer to home for about a year or so to keep an eye on him, a noble gesture. With that, he also insisted that I go ahead to school without him, and stay in our apartment, as there wasn't anything I could do to help, and it would be selfish of him to ask me to put my education on hold for him. He also reminded me that he would join me in our apartment, and at college next year. After a lot of thinking, I realized he was right and accepted his gesture gracefully, packing up to go of to college alone.   
  
In the meantime, Hyde and Jackie had an argument over her 'relationship' with Kelso, which left Hyde feeling abandonned and alone after catching Jackie and Kelso together hugging/'cuddling' on her couch. This was just another thing to blame Bud and Edna for...leaving Hyde so unsure of himself that he doesn't trust anyone to love him enough to stick around for him. The trust issues they left him with led him to revert back to his, 'Leave them before they leave you.' philosophy, and he ended up having a one night stand with a skanky nurse shortly before graduation...a mistake he regrets to this day.  
  
Once he'd realized what a giant mistake he'd made, he confessed the entire thing to Jackie, who then broke it off with him. He'd spent the next few weeks competing with Kelso for her affections to no avail. He even went so far as to tell her that he loved her, which went against everything he'd ever believed in; I could tell that he'd meant it though, and it broke my heart to see Jackie blow that off, and deciding to remain on her own, rather than choosing between him and Kelso; two guys that had cheated on her. In a way, I could see her point, as in most situations I'd be thinking the same way...'once a cheater, always a cheater', everyone always says. The only thing was, I'd known Hyde long enough to know when he genuinely regretted something, and he'd regretted this. For that reason, and because of the trust issues his parents left him with, I just couldn't seem to stay mad at him. More than anything, I felt bad for him and the fact that Jackie just couldn't see the situation from his standpoint. And despite my continued misgivings about their relationship, for the most part they brought out the best in each other. Jackie was becoming less materialistic and snobby, and Hyde was becoming more open. Most of all, I hated to see two of my best friends hurting so much over something that they could get past if they tried hard enough. It wasn't my decision though, so I just sat back and offered what comfort I could, while for the most part remaining out of it, and refusing to take sides. I'd had enough on my plate anyhow, what with getting ready to move, and to start college in a new city by myself...  
  
Before we all knew it, summer was over and it was time for me to head off to UW in Madison. I'd felt a little nervous about leaving all I knew behind, but realized that it was time to grow up and move on. I promised to come back and visit Eric every weekend, which worked out alright at first, but as time went on, the workload increased, and I thought that I should probably get involved in some school activities. After all, I was going to be going to school there for at least the next four years, I should get to know some of the other students and whatnot. Thus I started writing for the school newspaper and joined the writing club. Consequently, all these activities started to take up more of my time, and allowing me the time to go home less and less often. I think it goes without saying that this caused increasing tension in my relationship with Eric, eventually leading to another messy breakup just after New Years'; one we'd decided to play down for the sake of our friends. Despite all my misgivings about our relationship, I still felt like I was in love with him and was devastated that I had let the situation go this far. Being away at school and alone in the apartment helped me deal with it a little better though, and I was glad for that. I don't think I could've handled seeing him everyday and having to act as though the whole thing just didn't matter. Eventually though, this pain too passed, and things returned to a state of relative normalcy. At least that was the case until the weekend we all went on the Milwaukee beer tour early that spring...  
  
Forman Driveway-random Friday evening/early Spring 1979  
  
I'd just gotten home from college and was headed over to the Forman's, where Eric and Hyde were involved in a competitive game of one on one. Fez was playing the part of goalkeeper, and keeping Jackie company on the sidelines. Fez and Laurie's marriage had simply been one of convenience until his green card came in, so they had pretty much gone their own way; Laurie back to her position as Point Place's resident whore, and Fez unsuccessfully taking to trying to earn Jackie's interest once again. She was having none of it though, and had pretty much remained on her own since the end of the previous summer outside of the random times she'd started hanging out with Eric. They'd become much closer friends since their respective painful breakups, and seemed to take comfort and solace in each other's presence. A little too much comfort lately in my opinion, though neither of them seemed to acknowledge that fact...even to themselves. On the one hand, I felt happy for them as they seemed to enjoy each other's company, but on the other, I still was feeling hurt over me and Eric's breakup, and was kind of pissed that he seemed to be able to move on so soon. And move on to my best friend no less! I still had nothing to base my anger on though, as they hadn't acted like anything more than friends to each other, so I kept my suspicions and feelings of irritation under wraps, hoping I was imagining things. Little did I know that a plan put together by Kelso would change everything...  
  
About a half hour after I got there, and of chatting, as well as observing the continuing game (Hyde was a sure fire winner), Kelso runs up to us all excited with a foghorn. As soon as he caught his breath, he exclaimed, "Hey guys! Guess what?!" We all looked at him a little skeptically and warily responded, "What?" He missed our skeptical looks and continued his excited ramblings, "I just found out that there's this beer tour in Milwaukee this weekend!" Upon delivering his news, he abruptly stops and looks around at all of us, as though waiting for us to get caught up in his exhuberance. When we just looked at him skeptically, thinking he must've gotten his facts confused or something he continued, "C'mon guys! Milwaukee!" He stops to blow the fog horn loudly. "Beer!" he blows the fog horn again, even more loudly if that was even possible. We sit there and look at him for a few more seconds, incredilous that he would make such a scene with Red just inside before Eric pipes up with "We'll go...on one condition..." "What's that?" Kelso questions dumbly. "That you give me that fog horn right now." responds Eric calmly. Kelso stands there for a minute, as though considering Eric's proposal before reluctantly handing it over. Eric grabs it, tosses it to the ground and nonchalantly stomps on it, breaking it in half. "Alright!" Hyde exclaims, and gives Eric a high five. "Let's go!" That said, we all ran and piled into the Cruiser and are on our way...but not before Kelso said, "You know what Eric? That was kinda funny...that was your fog horn!"  
  
Milwaukee Beer Tour-10 am Saturday morning  
  
Even though the beer tour didn't start until the morning, we'd wanted to get to Milwaukee in plenty of time to be there when it opened, which explained our departure that previous evening. Once we'd gotten there, Eric parked in a secure place and we slept in the Cruiser for a few hours before heading over to where the tour was scheduled to take place. The place was packed to the nines, so we had no problems sneaking in without being stopped and ID'd. Surprised us all that Kelso had actually had a decent idea for a change, especially as dimwitted as he usually was. Kelso and Fez took off immediately, excited at the prospect of getting some action with some random, drunken, slutty girls, leaving Eric, Jackie, Hyde, and I. I'd figured that Jackie would want to drag me off with her to do the girly thing, while the guys wandered around the park together, so I was taken by surprise when she grabbed onto Eric's arm and dragged him off toward a booth filled with frilly, prissy things...luckily for Eric, there was an adjacent booth that was selling Star Wars memorabilia, so once Jackie got too absorbed, he could just slink over there. He was in heaven with that and would've stayed there all day if you'd let him.   
  
Unfortunately that only increased my suspicions about their friendship, but realizing I was left with Hyde served as a distraction for a while and the two of us walked off together, heading to the nearest beer tent. We talked about anything from what we'd both been up to since we'd last seen each other, to reminiscing about old times as we slowly got increasingly drunk. Only thing was, we talked about everything but what we truly needed to speak with each other about. Several minutes, and a few more beers later, we started to get into the more serious stuff, such as our respective break ups, how we were dealing with them...we just started to talk about the 'friendship' that seemed to blossom overnight between Jackie and Eric, when the both of us turned around to see the two of them drunkenly wobbling around, as Jackie leaned in and kissed Eric. That was all it took to break down my indifference and false bravado over me and Eric's break up, and his subsequent 'friendship' with Jackie, and I started hysterically sobbing. Hyde had assumed his Zen persona upon witnessing the entire thing. However, when he turned after hearing me start sobbing, a look of tenderness and concern flitted across his features, ruining the whole 'Zen' effect. He was never one to be able to stand the sight of a girl crying anyway, and my tears had an especially strong effect on him. Probably because I seemed so strong most of the time, so for me to be crying, I had to really be distraught. Even though he looked a little pained to see Jackie and Eric in an intimate embrace, he seemed to be more concerned about how poorly I was taking it, than he was that the former love of his life was making out with his best friend. I took some comfort in that, and when he made some haphazard attempts to console me, I couldn't help but feel just a wee bit better. However, it wasn't enough to stop my sobs, nor from me continuing on about how I'll probably never find anyone else, and that how I was with Eric for so long, I didn't even know if anyone else would even give me a second glance, let alone if I still even remembered how to go about attracting interest. In short, I felt undesirable, and betrayed by the man I thought I loved, as well as my 'supposed' best friend. My heart was breaking again, just like it did on the first day Eric and I had broken up, and all I could do was release my sorrow in the arms of his best friend, the man that I couldn't even admit to myself that I loved, even then...Hyde.   
  
Soon realizing that his somewhat pitiful attempts at comfort were having little effect, he did the one thing that irritated me the most, yet re-established my shaken self-confidence. Most of all, it served to take away my sorrow; passion having taken it's place. Passion that was quickly engulfed in anger...he'd leaned in and kissed me. It started tenderly at first, then quickly deepened and turned into something much more serious. Within minutes, realization struck as to what was happening and I yanked myself away abruptly, raising my hand to give him yet another slap; the spitfire inflamed in me anew. Ironically, it wasn't so much the kiss that had bothered me...it had more to do with the timing of it. I'd craved comfort and some form of reassurance after seeing my best friend start kissing my ex right in front of me, with no concern to my feelings. Sure, they were both drunk, but it still hurt more than I think anyone knew. Hyde was the only other person that could understand some of what I was going through, yet he was the very person that I felt at the time had taken advantage of my vulnerability. I couldn't help but be angry with him...whether or not I'd enjoyed the kiss was irrelevant... The only thing I hadn't counted on was that for once, Hyde would be one step ahead of me and see the slap coming. He grabbed a hold of my arm just before it made contact with his cheek, and struggling to control his Zen and keep his composure, he just stood there holding my arm with a look of angry passion for a few moments. Suddenly, like all the air had been taken out of him, he dropped my arm and quietly stalked away before I could say a word. 


	8. Chapter Eight

After the upheaval that came with the Jackie/Eric kiss, and the beginning of their relationship, I once again found solace in the Madison apartment and college. Having that apartment had given me a lot of independence and escape from the fact that my life seemed to keep getting torn all up and haphazardly tossed back together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Not to mention the fact that, for a little while anyway, it gave me an escape from Hyde and the last kiss we'd shared. After about a month had gone by and I hadn't gone back home to Point Place, everyone must have started to worry about me or something, cause after going through a particularly brutal day of school and heading back to the apartment who did I see standing at my door but an anxious looking Steven Hyde.   
  
Once the pleasantries were out of the way, he started to grill me about why I'd stayed away from home for so long; that everyone was really getting concerned. Jackie and Eric felt the worst though, since they knew that their actions were what caused this whole mess. Especially since I took a bus and headed directly back to Madison after all that went down and hadn't been seen since. To boil it down, they felt guilty. Hyde admitted as much to me, and told me that he had a LONG discussion with them about their little public display as soon as everyone got home. He also informed me that everyone missed me terribly, but that they thought I needed my space so they didn't come to check up on me sooner. Apparently after a month or so, Jackie started whining to Eric about how much she missed me and our girl talk, and tried to send him after me. Eric was able to fend her off for a few days though, but her whining quickly got the best of him. Unfortunately, he didn't feel like the best nominee for the task of bringing me home after everything that had happened, so he coaxed Hyde into doing it for him.   
  
However, Hyde confessed to me that for once doing Eric's dirty work didn't really bother him. I couldn't help but see that that was because he was also getting pretty concerned. Maybe he felt a little guilty for his part in the whole mess as well, though I doubt I'll ever know for sure, as he's always been a pretty secretive guy. In fact, I think overall he's opened up to me more than he has with almost anyone else. I actually was rather proud of that, as I was one of the priveleged few who got to see the softer side of Steven Hyde, the part of himself that he hid behind zen, that he kept hidden from the rest of the world. Even if the last time we saw each other had ended badly, nothing could break that bond.  
  
Looking back on it now, I think in that single moment, we both decided to forget the kiss and everything revolving around it. Our bond was too strong to let something like that come between us, and I still cared for him more than even I had realized, even if I wasn't ready to acknowledge it, and I'd missed him terribly. Hyde stayed with me that weekend, and we caught up on everything that happened with each other in the past month. By the time he left that Sunday evening, we'd pretty just settled into an easy, cozy, close friendship, though I knew something was missing. I was just unwilling and even a little afraid to admit what it was, even to myself. And if his actions were any indication, he felt it too. However, the situation between us was so complicated that I felt powerless to own up to my own feelings, as much as that secret corner of my mind would've loved to.  
  
Thus, I took comfort in the relationship we did have. One where we shared most of our hopes and dreams with each other, and leaned on each other as Eric and Jackie's relationship continued to progress. After a couple more weeks by myself up in Madison, and one more visit from Hyde, I slowly started to go home again every so often. It was difficult at first, but eventually I started to rebuild my friendships with both Jackie and Eric and things started to get back to normal. Hyde still continued to come visit me in Madison on the off weekends that I didn't go home; sometimes, he'd just come with general news from home like his latest burn on Kelso, Fez and his latest candy escapades, or how Jackie had succeeded in 'whipping Forman like the family pig,' as he called it; other times, he'd help with my school work or would proofread my latest column for the school paper, but whatever it was, it only succeeded in bringing us closer.  
  
It continued like this for months. The summer before my second year of college, Eric got himself an apartment near me in Madison and started taking investment banking, and Jackie visited him often. Sometimes, she'd bring Hyde up with her and all four of us would hang out for the weekend before they went home, sometimes she'd come up by herself. There was also the rare times the whole gang would come to visit, though it was difficult to get the whole gang together these days as Kelso was busy with police academy, and Fez had gotten a new girlfriend and was working full time at the DMV while he thought about what he wanted to do now that high school was over.   
  
Once or twice a month, Eric and I would also go home to Point Place to visit with our friends and family, and the school year flew by. The summer passed just as quickly, as it was rather uneventful, and the new school year was upon us. Jackie had applied to UW in the spring and had gotten accepted into their fashion program, so she was getting ready to move in with Eric. Hyde was still busy working as a chef at the Holiday Hotel; he'd gotten really enthusiastic about the whole cooking thing and was seriously looking into culinary schools in Madison. He was planning on applying to a few of them either for the winter semester or the following year. Fez had been dumped by his girlfriend that summer, which was really tearing him up. He decided that college might take his mind off things, so he enrolled at a few classes at UW as well, and moved into the co-ed dorms. After that, it didn't take him long to get over his broken heart, I'll tell you that much. We didn't see him much either, as he spent a lot of his free time at impromptu keg parties with the other part time students with time on their hands.  
  
November/December 1979  
  
Before we knew it, the winter of 1979/1980 was upon us. As tired, and annoyed with the cold as we were at this point, along with the realization that we hadn't been together as a group in several months, we decided that we deserved a break. Our parents agreed, and helped us fund a group trip to anywhere we chose to go. Red was a bit of a stick in the mud about it at first, but Mrs. Forman softened him up in a hurry. We all knew that he was grudgingly proud of Eric for doing so well at college anyway, but that he'd never come out and admit it. Funding this trip was his way of showing how pleased he really was. We all decided we wanted to get as far from the winter and school woes as possible, even if it was only for a little while; the best place to do that? Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.   
  
So the day after Christmas, we got all our stuff together and to the airport we went. The flight went relatively smoothly, though we did experience a bit of turbulence for the first hour or so. Was hilarious seeing Kelso's reaction to it too...he literally squirmed in his seat and started crying and screaming about how we were all gonna die. I was sitting on the window seat with Hyde beside me across the aisle from Kelso and Fez, and needless to say it didn't take Hyde long to look at him, start snickering, and frog him a good one in the arm. Eric, who was sitting behind Hyde started cracking up and gave Hyde a high five, while Jackie was admiring herself in a mirror. Fez was too caught up in 'protecting' his precious candy from the baby in the seat behind him to notice.  
  
I won't bore you with all the little details of the trip, but the first few days were filled with lighthearted fun at the beach by day, and little group drinking parties by night. We got three rooms, and paired off like this: Jackie and I, Hyde and Eric, Fez and Kelso. Jackie would spend a lot of time in Eric's room though, and Fez and Kelso were always out trying to impress the many women at the resort, leaving me and Hyde with a lot of free time together. Sometimes, we'd tag after Fez and Kelso and get many laughs from seeing them strike out, time and time again; others, we'd just share a beer, form a mini circle in me and Jackie's room and just hang out.   
  
Every once in a while though, there were those awkward silences when neither of us could think of what to say so we sat just quietly staring at each other. And those times were the hardest; the times when I wanted so much to throw caution to the wind, and bring up the one thing that was between us, that neither of us had the words, or the nerve to face. Luckily, those moments never lasted for long, but that few minutes always felt like an eternity. The both of us continued to pass them off, leaving our friendship intact, as we still were not ready to examine these feelings too closely.   
  
No sooner did the trip begin, that we found it almost over. We decided to spend our last night there together as a group frolicking on the beach. Still poor Kelso and Fez hadn't had any luck getting the attention of all the bottled blonde skanks, and the trip was nearly over. Thus, they were falling all over themselves trying to impress a group of girls on the beach so they could get some last minute 'action', as Kelso liked to call it. Maybe the fact that it was our last night there was a good charm or something as within a matter of minutes, they'd attracted the attention of a set of pretty brunette twins and took off to spend the evening with them, rationalizing that we'd get to spend the whole day together on the way home tomorrow. They had our blessing...better that than listening to them whine all night that we'd destroyed the 'mood'.   
  
Eric and Jackie walked off to enjoy a little more carefree time together before returning to Madison and the responsibilities that waited for them there. Before long, they started splashing and teasing each other in the water like couples do. This left just me and Hyde, the warm ocean water, and a cool moonlit night. We watched Jackie and Eric for a few minutes, then turned and looked at each other. Suddenly Hyde dove underwater as I continued to stand there, wondering what he was planning as I looked back to Eric and Jackie. Their play was long over and they were deeply involved in a make out session, oblivious to the scene around them. Caught between staring at them and trying to break away, I failed to realize that Hyde had managed to swim up behind me under water and yank on my foot, pulling me underneath the water. I somehow managed to break out of his hold and swim to the surface, coughing and spluttering the whole time. It didn't take me long to recover, and to start plotting my revenge, so when he finally came up for air, I was ready. I shoved the water with all my might and sent a huge tidal wave his way. It was so high in fact that it went over his head and he managed to look even more like a drowned rat, if that was possible. Our water war had begun...   
  
We continued our 'fight' until we both started getting really tired; our efforts at revenge were haphazard at best, and it had turned more into a playful teasing than anything else. What happened next I think was a shocker to the both of us, though in retrospect I wonder why I was so surprised by it all. I don't know who started it, or how it got as serious as it did, but one minute we were frolicking in the waves, and the next we were kissing frantically, as though neither of us could have enough of the other. But just as quickly as it started, I'd pulled away and swung my hand toward his cheek to smack him yet again. However, something was different this time. I was still angry, yes...but not at him. This time I was angry with myself for not having the nerve to face my own feelings. The slap was just something I was familiar with, something I did without actually even thinking about it. Before my hand could connect with his cheek though, he once again saw the slap coming and rather than grabbing my wrist like he had the last time, he just took a step back and out of out my reach. Now having nothing to connect with, the force of my own swing caused me to lose my balance and fall face first into the water, but not before I could see the look of angry thwarted passion all over his face. By the time I managed to break the surface of the water and call after him, he'd already turned and stalked away. I'd really blown it this time... 


	9. Chapter Nine

Hey all! Sorry it took me so long to finish this fic up. I know I left it pretty much open ended, but my muse seemed to have run off on me. Thus, I'm finally resorting to forcing it out of me since it's been left far too long. Special thanks go out to Sadeyes, for taking the time to be a conscientious beta; for offering suggestions when my ever elusive muse seemed determined to prevent the ending from being written. Thanks for your patience as well...I only hope it lives up the wait I've put you all through ...:)  
  
Lastly...as usual, I own nothing...if only I did...sigh  
  
Chapter 9-Summer of 1981  
  
Well the next year and a half were very stressful for me, both mentally and emotionally. After the whole Mexico trip, everything changed between Hyde and I. Despite my best attempts at repairing the situation, it seemed hopeless. The saddest part of it was that I knew there was no one I could blame for this rift but myself. I could barely get Hyde to even talk to me, and on the rare occasions when he WOULD say something, quite often I'd wished he hadn't.  
  
Eventually I just gave up and let him be, figuring eventually he'd come to me...I mean, we were too close to let something like this come between us...right??? Unfortunately, after about six months of this, I realized that the situation was out of my hands. In spite of how much I loved him (which I had only just admitted to myself after I lost him...hindsight does have the uncanny ability of being 20/20 doesn't it?), I couldn't keep going like this...seeing him slowly rebuilding those walls of his everyday...the walls that I had once taken such pride in climbing over.  
  
To make matters even worse, I'd found out through Eric and Jackie that he had recently been accepted to the culinary school in Madison and would be joining everyone there come September. He'd be so close, yet so far away, and I just couldn't handle that. It was far too painful.  
  
So once the offer to take a year long co-op in California came along, I jumped on it, figuring it would give me some time away to mend my broken heart and start to move on. Plus, it would give me a chance to get away from the blossoming relationship between Eric and Jackie. Don't get me wrong, they're my best friends, and I'm nothing but happy for them. However, it only further drove home to me that which was missing in my own life. And my mother was still living there, and had apparently cleaned up her act, so I knew I'd have a place to stay.  
  
Both Eric and Jackie tried to talk me out of going, and even to continue trying to talk to Hyde. They'd somehow managed to piece together what happened between us in Mexico with what few crumbs of information were tossed to them, and had been trying to get us back together ever since. Problem was, Hyde wasn't having it. And to be perfectly honest, considering how things ended, I didn't blame him. Still it hurt like hell though, and I just couldn't take the heartache anymore. I had to go...  
  
San Diego, California-Donna's Mom's House-June 1982  
  
I'd spent much of the last year working my ass off so I could finish off college with honours. Spent most of my evenings alone, either talking to Eric and Jackie or mourning the loss of what could have been. Somehow, I'd gotten to thinking that removing myself from the whole situation with Hyde would make it go away. Instead, I just got lonelier, and the calls from Eric and Jackie, Kelso, and Fez only seemed to make it worse. I was quite good at putting my best face on around my mom, and we bonded quite a bit in that time. I kind of wish I would've talked to her about it honestly. I mean, she'd been through some hard times herself and she probably could've really helped me out.  
  
Most of the calls from Eric and Jackie were just updates on how they were doing in school, what living together was like (Jackie loved to complain about Eric's messy habits, which she felt we'd have some common ground with), and so forth. Every so often though, they would sneak in a little update about how Hyde was doing...anything from his latest culinary accomplishment, to how he reacted when they told him I was gone, and how he'd gotten even more moody than normal since I'd left. According to them, that was a sure sign that he missed me more than anyone knew.  
  
I didn't go home from Christmas that year, though my dad became his typical blubbering mess when I told him that I'd be spending Christmas with my mom. I made sure to send him a new banjo in my Christmas package home, so suffice it to say, he didn't stay upset for very long. Without even thinking about it, I'd selected a special gift for Hyde...a diamond encrusted flask engraved with his initials on the front, and a hidden message on the bottom...'With Love, Donna'.  
  
Only thing is, when it came time to send it, I burst into tears. I just couldn't do it, much as I wanted to. After all, we hadn't spoken to each other in months, though Eric and Jackie both made sure we had each other's address and phone number. I'd tried to call him so many times, and sometimes the line would even ring, but I just couldn't put myself through the rejection again. Not then anyway...  
  
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the school year was over and I'd graduated. I got the call from Eric saying he'd graduated early since he'd taken a full course load, rather than the partial load his program required the last two years. I'd never been prouder of him, and I knew Jackie was thrilled to finally be able to have the future she felt she deserved.  
  
However, that phone call also made me realize how much I missed my friends and family, and just how much I missed Hyde. He'd apparently made it through his first year of culinary school at the top of his class, having finally found his niche. I'd never been so happy for him, and wish I could've been there when he got the news. Though, according to Eric, he didn't seem as happy with his accomplishments as he should have, and that he had a feeling that probably had a lot to do with me. Jackie seemed to share that belief, and told me that whenever my name was mentioned, he'd get a fleeting look of sadness on his face, before he covered with his zen mask, and a look that said that topic was off limits. No one dared mention me again when that look had taken over his face since they didn't want to face an angry Steven Hyde...  
  
Hearing that only told me what I knew inside all along. I had to go home. After all, I couldn't stay away forever. My home, friends, and pretty much everything I knew were there. Most of all, I had to see Hyde; attempt to clear the air between us, and see if the two of us ever stood a chance. Jackie and Eric seemed to think so...and though everyone seemed to think 'they' were totally mismatched, they'd managed to make it work, so I didn't see why we couldn't. I still felt guilty over how things were left between us, and wish I'd given it just one more try before I'd run away, but the only place I could move was forward. And if I wanted my future to be with Steven Hyde, then I had to go home and fight for him. Even if that fight was against him himself...  
  
Just before I had gotten everything packed up and ready to go, I got a call from Jackie. Apparently my dad and the Formans had decided that we should have one last family vacation together now that Eric and I had graduated at Lake Michigan...and between her and Eric, they'd managed to convince Hyde to go, though from what she was saying, they'd had quite a fight on their hands. All I heard was her voice buzzing in the background after that as I strolled through memory lane to my very first kiss at that very spot...with none other than Steven Hyde. We were so young and innocent back then, totally carefree and clueless of what the future had in store for us. I really wish we could get a portion of those innocent and carefree days back, and realized that if we could, it would be there, where it all began...  
  
Lake Michigan-The Forman/Pinciotti Cabin-Last Weekend in June 1981  
  
By the time I arrived at the cabin, it was late and I was exhausted. Everyone was there to give me the large homecoming party they'd planned, showing me how much I was truly missed. My dad was the first to give me one of his classics, a crying Bob hug, telling me how proud he was of me...the first Pinciotti to graduate from college. Needless to say, this took quite a while for me to escape from. Eric and Jackie were next, with Jackie giving me a rather sad look, leaving me to wonder what could possibly be going on to prompt it. However, I found out the answer to that very shortly... Eric's parents hugged me next to welcome me back, and congratulate me for graduating. I looked around for Hyde, wondering where he was. Once I realized he wasn't there, a sad look crossed my face, which quickly turned to one of determination and irritation, and I turned to toward Jackie for an explanation. She only confirmed what I expected, that he'd decided he wasn't quite ready to see me, and had walked off by himself.  
  
As tired as I was, I wasn't going to let him ignore me any longer and went out to look for him. But not before taking his Christmas present with me. The time for us to talk was long past. If everything went the way I wanted it to, I'd planned to finally give him his present tonight. However, knowing Hyde as well as I did, I expected to have one hell of a fight on my hands. This time though, I wasn't going to just let him hide behind those walls of his. I'd claw my way over them if I had to, but I was determined to get through. I just hoped that once I'd finally done so, that we could begin to get past this. More importantly, I hoped we'd be able to find our way back to each other. It had taken so long for me to realize how much I loved him, and I couldn't bear losing him now...before I'd ever even really had him.  
What I didn't count on was it taking so long for me to find him...especially since he was pretty much exactly where I should've expected; leaning against an oak tree, joint between his fingers, overlooking the river where everything began all those years ago...  
  
I just stood there for a few minutes to gather my resolve before approaching him quietly from behind the tree. I decided to start gently, hoping that would tell the tone of the conversation. I start with a tentative, "Hi." which he returns, looking slightly wary.  
  
"Jackie told me you'd taken off out here after she realized I was looking for you, so I thought I'd come out and see if I could find you." I continued on, in an attempt to get the pleasantries out of the way and the conversation going.  
  
"Yeah, I needed some air. Gets rather hot in that cabin at night for some reason. Wanna hit?" he tosses back. I was slightly surprised that he was so agreeable about me being there, considering what Jackie had told me back at the cabin. With a slight sigh of relief, I took the joint and sat in front of him creating an impromptu mini circle.  
  
"What's that you're holding?" he asked, and gestured toward his present which I was still cradling in my other hand. "Just a good luck charm." I replied. He nodded and reached across for the joint I was passing back his way. He took a hit, leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes for a minute as though wondering what to say next.  
  
Finally he came out with, "Congratulations...I heard you graduated man. I always knew you'd be one of the first..." He handed me what little remained of the joint before trailing off and looking at the ground. If I wasn't mistaken, this was his way of saying he was proud of me. And coming from him that means a lot. Particularly considering how rough things had been between us this past year.  
  
"Thanks," I return quietly as I put out the remaining roach and hand to him, which he slides into his cigarette pack. "Jackie tells me you finished at the top of your class this year. That must've taken a lot of hard work. You must be proud."  
  
He must've seen the look of pride on my face because he lit up like a kid at Christmas in response before uttering a quiet, "Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome...but we both know I didn't come out here just for idle chit chat. Things have been awfully rocky between us ever since we all went to Mexico, and I think it's past time for us to talk about it..." I start with resolve, yet semi-tentatively, testing the waters.  
  
His expression had turned dark and guarded, and out came a tense, irritable sounding, "Are you sure you want to talk about that with me right now Donna? Cause I don't..."  
  
He'd looked like a caged, wounded wild animal...something you don't really want to approach too closely, in fear that it just may strike.  
  
You know you've managed to get to Hyde when despite what had to be his best attempt; he's not able to put on his 'Zen face'. I should've taken that as a sign to back off, at least for the time being, but his reaction made me realize that I too, was angry...and that anger overrode my own guilt, as well as my reason.  
  
Hell, 'he' was the one who'd closed me off so quickly and completely after what happened in Mexico, not even allowing me to explain or apologize...'and' despite having my address and phone number, he didn't bother trying to contact me the whole year I was away...trying to get over 'him'...feeling guilty for how I'd left things with 'him'...  
  
"'You' don't want to talk about it?! Oh, boo hoo! I cry purple tears for you!" I screamed, rolling my eyes. "You always have to make everything about 'you'! What about 'me'?! Me...who spent this past year feeling guilty as hell for everything that happened between us?! Me...who spent my nights sitting by the phone waiting for you to call so we could get past this?! Me...who cried until there were no tears left because I never got the chance to tell you how much I've always loved 'you'...?!"  
  
By this point, I was so fired up in my rant that 'nothing' could've stopped me...not even the look of complete and total shock on Hyde's face...and trust me, that's not an expression he wears often. I'd even failed to notice that the first time I'd openly admitted to him that I loved him, it was done like this. It certainly wasn't my preferred way of revealing that little piece of information. I mean, I'm not Jackie...who envisions banners and rainbows, unicorns and roses, but still...I never intended it to come out like this, especially when I was still so angry with him.  
  
I continued my tirade continued without pause, as my face grew crimson with fury. "I waited 'all' this time to talk to you, and all you can say is, 'I don't wanna talk about it'?! You really are an asshole, you know that?! Eat this!" I finished, throwing his Christmas flask squarely at his head and stalking away without looking back.  
  
I'd never been so angry and frustrated in all my life. Only 'he' could provoke me like this. Frankly, I was lucky the flask missed his head and fell to the ground, though I didn't find that out till later. Apparently some time later after he'd come out the daze my outburst had caused, his curiousity had gotten the better of him and he'd picked up the wrapped package, torn off the tissue paper surrounding it revealing the carefully selected present inside, and the secret message underneath...  
  
Later that evening...  
  
Eventually the adrenalin rush wore off, and I crumbled to the grass in fatigue. I hadn't gone back to the cabin as I'd needed some time to think without Jackie's persistent questions, and Eric's undoubted pity, neither of which could I handle at the moment.  
  
That, and I didn't want Hyde finding me. The anger had drained, and with it had gone my courage to face him...particularly after what I had inadvertently revealed.  
  
Unfortunately, it appeared that he had other plans, which weren't revealed until I finally raised my head from where it was resting on my knees. He was just standing there quietly looking at me holding the flask in his hands with a confused, uncomfortable, and slightly irascible look in his eyes. It looked like he'd been there a while...waiting for to look up and notice his presence.  
  
Before I could even say anything, he began warily with, "You wanted to talk...fine, let's talk. You might want to start with explaining this..." He gestures to the inscription on the bottom of the flask he's holding tightly in his hands. "...along with the little comment you just made...you know, about loving me? Where the hell did that come from? You never showed any indication of feeling that way before...so what's the deal now?" he continues sarcastically.  
  
I'd had my rant...it was only fair to give him his turn. So despite my better judgment, and my own climbing feelings of guilt, I kept my mouth shut until he was finished. It wasn't easy, but I did it.  
  
"You claim you love me, and that you missed me, yet you never made the effort to pick up the phone and call 'me' this past year either! Not to mention the fact that every time I made the effort to get close to you in the past, you pushed me away as soon as things got too hot for you! You wondered why I didn't want to talk to you about it before...there's your reason! I gave up on you while I still had a shred of dignity and pride left!" he continued hot faced and clearly angry.  
  
Judging by what he was saying, I couldn't blame him. I'd never seen it through his eyes before. I mean, I'd felt guilty for my actions in the past, but hearing things from his perspective only made me feel even more ashamed of myself.  
  
After his long and heated outburst, the air seemed to have been knocked out of him; he slumped low to the ground, head hanging limply and the night grew deathly silent.  
  
Long moments later, I realized that I had to say something. Just sitting here feeling guilty and sorry for myself wasn't going to make this whole mess go away. Considering the strength of his outburst, it was obvious that the next move was going to be up to me...and rightly so.  
  
I can't say I still wasn't angry for his deliberate indifference this past year, but at least now I understood what lead him to it...and that something was 'me'. In my own stubbornness and fear with admitting my love for him, I'd managed to do the complete opposite of what I'd intended and pushed him away. Though how it could've done anything else is beyond me...just another case of how hindsight can really do a number on a person.  
  
The problem I had was finding the words to make things right again. This had to be the most important conversation of my life, and everything I'd ever wanted or hoped for hinged on his reaction to what I had to say. To say that prospect was terrifying was being far too kind...however; I couldn't stay silent any longer.  
  
"I'm 'so' sorry" I whispered quietly...so quietly in fact that I'm surprised he'd even heard me, a fact made obvious when he raised his head and looked at me...a mix of anger, sorrow...and if I wasn't mistaken, just the tiniest glimmer of hope.  
  
That look gave me the courage I needed to go forward with my explanations. "Let me start at the beginning and answer the first question you asked." I continued.  
  
He nodded at me, encouraging me to continue. "Without a second thought, I bought that flask for you back at Christmas...when I got the rest of the gifts I sent home. I had it engraved to reflect everything I felt for you at the time...and still do." I looked at the ground between my feet, then toward him quickly to see how he reacted to this piece of news.  
  
When he just sat there looking at me intently, I simply continued on. "When I got everything together to send home, I noticed the flask in along with the other gifts. Honestly, I was surprised to see it, as I hadn't even remembered having bought it. Must have been an unconscious purchase on my part. In that moment, I fully intended to send it to you...hoping you'd see it and realize that despite everything I always 'had' loved you. But something was stopping me from placing it into the package..." I trailed off there, too overcome with emotion to continue and tears in my eyes.  
  
He continued looking at me...a slight look of surprise crossing his features at the evident emotion on my face, but he quickly covered that with his 'Zen' expression. Again, with that damn 'Zen' expression. It's like he can never allow himself to feel anything...which can really get annoying at times...particularly times like this. He made no move to comfort me, which really grated when I was opening myself up so completely to him. Looking back, I suppose I really shouldn't have expected more considering his upbringing, and the total freeze out this past year and a half. It's like he'd gotten to the point where he was afraid to let me in... While I knew I owned a good portion of the blame for that, I felt he should at least acknowledge his own wrongdoing.  
  
It's not like he was entirely blameless. I 'did' wait around for the better part of six months trying to patch things over between us...it was only when the unending silence, tension, and guilt became too much that I finally had to leave. And that thought was enough to draw me out of my guilt and sadness, and back into the anger that originally dragged me here. "I came here to try one last time to make things right between us after what happened in Mexico...to tell you how much I had always loved you! And what do you do?! You get all high and mighty saying crap like, 'I don't wanna talk about it'! Seriously, suck it up man! You know, you really 'are' a dillhole!" I exploded, before shoving him in the chest and bursting into tears.  
  
The shove barely moves him, but it's just enough to inflame something inside him past the breaking point. What it was, I wasn't sure, but I was glad I was still able to make him feel 'something' beyond the anger that'd been between us for what seemed an eternity now. Sure, the anger was still there...blazing hotly in those big blue eyes of his, which were surprisingly unguarded by his trademark shades...but there was something else there too. Despite my own fury, that gave me hope. And before too long, I knew what that something was when he leaned forward with purpose, and a glint in his eye and took my lips under his, pulling me forward roughly.  
  
The kiss started with the red, hot heat of his repressed anger, and the intention to punish...which it was achieving quite successfully...until suddenly it softened into the pale yellows and pinks of months of unresolved desire.  
  
It didn't take me long to deepen it, and to pull him close and twine my fingers through his curly golden locks to convey all the love in my heart, as well as in a vain attempt to appease my own need. Things were quickly spiralling out of control, and I wished this moment would never end. However, I reluctantly pulled away several heated moments later, out of breath and insanely in love with him...but even more determined to finish clearing the air once and for all. If we were going to move forward together as equals, we couldn't leave this sitting between us. It would only hurt us later, adding fuel to any future squabbles we would undoubtedly have.  
  
He looked at me with a mix of confusion, desire, but above all, tenderness in his eyes as he brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face, and tucked it behind my ear. A slight look of wariness crossed his features, as though he were mildly afraid of what would come next. Considering my reactions during our previous encounters, I couldn't blame him for his nervousness. Taking his feelings into account, I took a few minutes to soothe them, first with a gentle smile; then a tender kiss that quickly exploded with a heat and combustion that nearly incinerated us both.  
  
I softly pulled away from it in the nick of time flushed, and out of breath. 'Okay...so no more of that until we've had our talk' I ordered myself in desperation, and forced my mind back to the issue at hand. "Remember the first time we came here?" I ask him softly...minutes later.  
  
He looked at me quizzically, as though taken off guard and unsure where I was going with this. "Yeah, we were just kids...it seems so long ago. You kept picking on Forman, and foiling my guard duties if I'm not mistaken..."  
  
"That sounds about right. God, I was such a bully back then...but Eric was always such an easy target...all skinny and whiny..." I replied, giggling softly. "You made me so angry back then...always lurking behind some tree to protect Eric and ruin my fun..."  
  
"Well, he 'did' pay for my protection...if it makes you feel any better, you didn't make my job very easy..." he said with a guarded, bashful grin that didn't quite touch his lips, but made his eyes twinkle.  
  
"I noticed...especially that one time when I dunked him into the lake, and you came in to pull me off. I wanted nothing more that to scratch your eyes out...until you took me off guard demanding a forfeit..." I prodded gently, testing to see what his reaction to this would be.  
  
He surprised me by responding with an easy smile. "You know, I was so irritated with you at that point...I had 'no' idea what to do with you. You'd already cost me my quarter, so I figured you owed me something. Without even thinking, I took the first thing I thought of..." He stops there, looking belatedly embarrassed by his actions.  
  
"A kiss..." I responded softly. "You know, that was my first kiss...?"  
  
"Yeah...mine too." he falteringly admits.  
  
Silence reigns over the both of us for a few moments as we smile at each other tenderly.  
  
Now that the mood had been lightened a bit, and the conversation had begun, I'd found the courage I needed to say what had been on my mind for so long.  
  
"A year on your own gives you a lot of time to think...to remember things, both the good and the bad..." I say gently, breaking the long silence.  
  
A confused expression crossed his face. "Okay...?"  
  
"One of the things I came to realize is that very first kiss was only the beginning for us. I'm not sure if you've seen it yet, but almost every two years since then we've found our way back to each other. No matter what else has happened in our lives, we've always ended up back together...like this." I continued, gesturing wildly.  
  
He nods in response, indicating he's understood and that he's seen it as well. Still he looks a little confused, obviously unsure of where I was going with this.  
  
"I know I've hurt you in the past...and I 'am' sorry. To be honest, more of that had to do with me than it did with you. For some reason, I just couldn't let myself feel that way for you...at first I told myself it was because of Eric. But even once my relationship with him was over, and I'd moved on... We'd grown so close...maybe I was afraid of being hurt again. Maybe I knew that if I started something with you and it didn't work, I would never be able to forgive myself. Either way, it was wrong of me to throw your feelings back in your face like that." I finished quickly; remorseful and spent, before I lost my nerve.  
  
"Look...Donna, I'm not gonna say I wasn't hurt when you kept pushing me away every single time things got too intense..." he replied cautiously. "Though there were times when I realize I may have pushed you too hard...like when you'd first broken up with Forman and we went on that beer tour. I told myself I was only trying to make you feel better..." he trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed with himself.  
  
I didn't push him to continue, opting instead to turn to him and smile, showing that I understood what he was trying to say. He'd never really been one to show his feelings anyway, so for him to have even come this far was more than enough...for now. He slowly moved to sit beside me and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. Finally, we were content to just 'be' with each other, looking off into the distance...wondering what the future had in store for us...  
  
At least until Eric and Jackie strolled by, minutes later on their way to the beach for a playful romp.  
  
Just before they got out of visual range, Jackie looked back at us with a smile on her face. She quickly centred her gaze on me and gave me the thumbs up, before turning and running after Eric toward the water.  
  
Seeing Jackie's gesture toward me, Hyde turned and looked at me with a confused look on his face. I looked back with a smile, and shrugged innocently.  
  
He smiled back before lifting himself from the ground, and offered me his hand. I accepted it, and he gently helped me to my feet.  
  
Replacing his arm around my shoulders, we slowly followed after Eric and Jackie. Our future together looks very bright indeed.  
  
We stopped just shy of the beach to share what was meant to be a quick little kiss, one that was quickly becoming more intense than any of the ones preceding it. Yeah, things are going to be 'just' fine...  
  
Fin 


End file.
